Hey sweet soul,

With 4 planets STILL in retrograde, how are you travelling? At least Mercury goes back to normal today.. I must say, this is usually the best time for me to get so much of my admin organised.

From papers that need to be filed, to my desktop that needs to be cleared of a gazillion screen shots from the work I do with my team, to filing cabinets that need to be organised..

 

There’s a huge misconception in the wellness industry, that if you just do what you love, all the rest will fall perfectly into place”. I scoff when I hear someone use that phrase, because no matter how evolved one is in the spiritual realm, and no matter how successful someone is in business, ‘obligation’ is an energy that will visit us, no matter what.

How we choose to deal with it, is another story. How we choose to define it in terms of our loyalty, is again something else.I know big department stores hand out loyalty cards in the hope that you will shop exclusively with them – they even set up a system so that you think you’re winning rewards.

If you lure someone based on the fact that you are offering the best deal, and your only connection is the value of money, then they’ll take off as soon as they get offered a better deal.

With human connections, it’s not so cut and dry. As kids, we’re taught the importance of loyalty, I know I certainly was. My very ethno-centric parents made it a  point to only shop in places where their cultural heritage was honoured and valued.

They promised business owners their loyalty and as a result would be taken care of in terms of a reduction in price, or generosity with added bonuses like an extra loaf of fresh bread or chunk of fetta.

It was a great system. We felt like we were part of a family. And I get it. I live and work next to a small cluster of shops and sometimes when I walk in on a very busy day, my regular coffee gets made without me needing to utter a word.

They know me. I know them. The fact that I don’ have to utter that I want  a large weak soy latte with cinnamon on top and extra hot please is delicious and makes me feel like I’m part of a greater community. But sometimes, loyalty can cross over into a sense of obligation.

And for me, that’s also ok, so long as I stay true to my values and boundaries. In the past, I’ve stayed connected to people that were no longer in my highest alignment because I’ve worn my need to be loyal to our friendship like a badge of honour, instead of realising that our values were no longer aligned.

Recently, I almost started a business venture with a friend, but pulled out when her partner got involved. When my friend and I first started to collaborate, we were in a harmonious flow and shared skills that complimented each other beautifully.

When she asked her husband for advice, he stepped in, and the co-creative space we held was impacted by his direct personality. While my boundaries with him were very clear, hers weren’t so much.

I saw that it was starting to cause conflict in their relationship and I knew that despite her best intentions, the personal dynamic in their relationship would be impacted, and potentially, so would ours.

My loyalty to her was what inspired me to bow out gracefully. Previoulsy, I would have felt obligated to continue with our venture, but time has taught me many lessons over the years and I could see the signs clearly. After all, isn’t the greatest cause of suffering the constant desire for things to be different?

Explosions only tend to happen when little irrits get ignored along the way, and there were plenty of those already. Little perimeter breaches can also accumulate into huge boundary issues and this was something that I also saw so clearly.

Our personal boundaries and values change so much, its only natural that they change within relationships. If they don’t get checked regularly, it can lead to miscommunication and resentment.

 
 

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