Life flows beautifully when we’re truly honest about how much energy we can really give to another person or situation. This little nugget was highlighted for me when the Universe gifted me with 2 very different situations in the same week.
While strolling near my house on my way to meet a friend for a chai, I witnessed a car accident. Thankfully nobody was actually hurt, but the shock of the collision was enough to leave both drivers visibly shaken and off centre.
A handful of us ran up to make sure that everyone was OK and offered services like a drink of water, reassurance, and a call for the tow truck. My contribution was the pen and paper from my notebook, which I used to write down each respective driver’s details.
By the time the situation had been resolved, a good half hour had passed and both parties were very grateful for all our combined efforts and offerings like our words of support and reassurance.
I don’t really believe in co incidence and truly feel that the act of witnessing this little prang, was also a message for me to stop, and not to rush about during my day.
In fact, a few years ago, my time management was so tightly allocated with every increment of time duly accounted for, I wouldn’t have been able to stop and make sure everyone was OK.
I now consciously create a life that is deliberately not busy and over packed so that whatever I extend out in terms of work like coaching, being a celebrant or teaching yoga, is a natural extension of myself and as such does not deplete me or my energy.
In the case above, I knew that there was enough space in my energy bank to extend a little bit of myself to others that needed a boost. Sure enough, the Universe decided to express her own sense of humour with an invitation for me to outspread another part of me. A friend called and wanted to chat about a personal situation with her partner.
It’s a story that I am already quite familiar with and in all truthfulness, have no desire to hear about any more. And so the conundrum of how to express my truth and desire in a way that would both validate and respect my friend and our friendship also emerged.
How can I do it for a bunch of strangers yet be unable to do so for a friend? So I decided to lead with the simplicity of my truth. I told her that she has the absolute unequivocal right to express her woes and be heard and validated.
I am simply not the best person to do this with.
And just like that, it was done. It was that simple. In this situation, the patience, compassion and desire she deserved was simply not something that I could extend to her.
Once again, I saw how the outside world reflects our inner world.
When there’s peace and love on the inside, we get that reflected back to us in the form of acceptance. When there’s doubt and hesitation on the inside, we get that reflected back to us as resistance.
In the situation above, I was comfortable expressing my truth, so it was easy to convey my message with love and respect. As a result, the message was heard.
Truth be told however, I was just as comfortable had the message not been so well received, and I truly believe that this also made a world of difference.
When we redefine the dynamics in our relationships, we’re effectively creating new boundaries, and sometimes this means accounting for an adjustment period. At times it’s smooth, at other times, it’s a little bumpier.
I’m curious. What do you do when you really don’t have that much to give?