Almost 20 years ago, I started my private practice at a similar time to a friend who worked as a nutritionist and specialised in homeopathy and herbs. Her dyslexia sometimes meant that her website and newsletters had typos or spelling errors that she was very self conscious about.
We had met during a weekend of training for counsellors who wanted to specialise in a certain type of interviewing style, so given that part of the course included practicing on each other, many of us experienced being triggered when it was our turn to be ‘the client’.
When we were paired up, we got along so well, that we ended up staying in touch. It was a surprise that we had so much in common, as I had a voracious appetite for eating junk and take away food, and she was green juicing before it had even become a ‘thing’ in popular culture.
I think we secretly wanted to convert each other to our respective ‘wild sides’ as we were both so appositionally extreme. When I reflect on our connection, I was actually in awe of her unapologetic indifference of what others thought of her, and I was drawn to that sense of self assuredness like a moth to a flame.
I was also inspired by how clear she was about her food choices, which were considered extreme at the time. She totally owned what was considered weird, and even extreme by society, and I think my former people pleasing self was hoping that some of her robust self-confidence might permeate towards my lack of self-esteem through some form of osmosis.
A big shift that ended up coming through for my friend, was releasing her embarrassment about her grammatical errors due to her dyslexia. She came to the realisation that she wasn’t lecturing in English literature, so if her clients couldn’t get past a few typos or spelling mistakes, then they were welcome to find another therapist.
Owning a part of ourselves that used to feel triggered, ashamed, or even guilty, is a sure sign that we are more integrated in our own healing, as we are embodying our up levelled wisdom, or way of being — usually after a rite of passage of being tested.
When that ‘thing’, or that ‘person’, no longer has the power to make you feel small, worthless, guilty or angry, then it’s a sign that you’ve cleared that shadow. This doesn’t just happen to us as individuals, but also for sub cultures within societies. One example is when the first Mardi Gras march was held in 1978, you could still be arrested for being gay.
This month’s podcast episode speaks to the theme of owning who you are in a way that is not only inspirational but humbling, when I had the honour of interviewing Rachael Bennett. My quest to share ‘ordinary’ people’s extraordinary stories might be part of why you may not recognise her name, but her story is an incredible one to listen to.
Rachael hails from the tail end of the Stolen Generation, and she was adopted into a white family and suffered from mean spirited racism because of how she looked. After forging a singing career for herself travelling around Country, she also overcame drug and alcohol addiction.
One of the many plot twists that she shares of her life, is the time she read an article about a notorious criminal. A few days later, Link Up contacted her to tell her that they found her biological father who had just been released from prison. It was the same felon she had read about only days earlier!
In 2019, Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras was successful in winning the bid to host WorldPride in Sydney in 2023, having competed against Houston, USA and Montreal, Canada. We celebrated PRIDE at the weekend, with Anthony Albanese being the first Australian Prime Minister to join the march during the parade.
I hope you can also join me in celebrating Rachael, and her story as a proud, gay, Indigenous woman who shared many of her life’s journeys with me so generously. I bet you’ll love the episode as much as I loved recording it.