confidenceMy dear friend, how are you? It’s been a while between my musings to you and I’ve missed you! My schedule has been full of wonderful things, and it’s only recently that I’ve noticed that I have neglected to make the time to write, so I’ve decided to rectify this so we can connect a little more regularly again.

When I first became qualified as a yoga teacher, I remember that my sadhana (daily practice) was very austere. I needed this kind of disciplined structure in my life at the time, for even though I was formally ‘qualified’, my level of confidence and life experience was not expanded enough for me to be able to laugh off my mistakes and shake them off like water off a duck’s back.

I needed that formal regulation back then as I did not have enough self worth and experience to feel that I really EMBODIED the teachings and the practice.

I still meditate every single day, but the desire to do so, is so embedded within my psyche, that it happens automatically, and I go with the flow. Sometimes it will be in my bed, on my couch or balcony, sometimes it will be on a cliff top, and at other times it will be in the ocean. 

When you truly embody a feeling, your discipline can be flexible, for your level of confidence is so expanded, that your trust muscle simply follows the flow of your soul. You pass the tests that could have potentially led you astray and are perfectly magnetic to receive what you yearn, irrespective of whether you are qualified or not.

One of my dear friends started her coaching business at the same time I started working for myself as a celebrant, counsellor, kinesiologist and yoga teacher. She was a HUGE inspiration for me regarding what is possible, for not only did she earn so much more than I ever did, she became one of my mentors regarding what is possible within the wellness industry. It took her 6 months to get her qualification as opposed to my 6 years. 

Another mentor of mine dropped out of high school, and many years later, she launched her online platform and shared her channeling gifts with the world. Some of her clients picked up on her grammatical errors, and offered to barter their sessions with her in exchange for them proof reading her copy. She was so expanded in her confidence, that she laughed them off and said ‘no’. Not because she was being arrogant, but because she was clear that her qualification was not as an English major, and if these people were going to get their knickers in a knot over a few typos, then they were not the sort of people she wanted as her clients anyway.

With my social work contract, some of the workers that have more experience than I do regarding  the children in foster care, are old enough to be my own children. I have the same respect and reverence for them that I had for my first team leader 20 years ago, and learn so much from their perspective. A male colleague who I specifically requested to be teamed up with was a heroin user for 15 years and shared that he was touched when he found out I’d requested to partner with him. His qualification differed to mine, as it came from the streets and mine came from an institution. 

When one of the children who I was in charge of recently ran to me in tears claiming he had an ‘owie’, I discovered that it was around his bottom. His intellectual disability meant that he didn’t always wipe thoroughly after a poo, and was sometimes prone to nasty infections. When we went to the bathroom together to check, I saw that those underpants would not only need to be thrown out, but possibly burned, and that a wet wipe would not be enough to clean that landfill.

He got into the bathtub and I remember thinking how this little angel had no idea what a University is much less what a qualification even means. What mattered to me is that he felt safe enough for me to wipe him, and with each attempt, he’d gradually relax his sphincter. Despite the excrement that floated in the tub, I was touched. 

I’d read the intake form and I knew exactly what had happened to him while in the care of his (now incarcerated) birth parents and why they’d never get custody of him again. The fact that he trusted me to do this for him while he was writhing in pain was nothing short of an honour. That moment with him didn’t need a formal qualification, much like teachers, practitioners and carer’s can embody the Mother Earth archetype regardless of whether or not they have children themselves. 

My wish for you, is to be self-approved. If you do not self-validate yourself, you will struggle to be happy. At times, stepping into who we truly are can sometimes rock the boat, raise some eyebrows, or open us up to be criticised. If your energy circuits are connected to people who do not give back a positive frequency, your resources will start to deplete, as what you are looking for, really needs to be sourced from within. If you love yourself enough, you will be able to stand those waves.

After months of being booked out, I finally have some free time for more sessions and would love to see you, if you feel the need for a top up, or for a deeper shift and healing. I’m also working on some goodies for next year so that you can have easy access to me in a more supportive group healing format. Please let me know if you have any specific requests as I’d love to accomodate your needs!

And until we cross paths again, I send love to you and your journey of unfurling,

Patty Kikos