Flower Crowns. Oh my goodness. Kill me.
I was the kid that hated arts and crafts at school.
In fact, when my high school forced the home economics module that was obligatory in every all girl school in my state, even my own mother was horrified at my sewing attempts.
She’d unpick my stitches and sew them back herself.
Mrs. Mooyman – since the last school reunion, we’re Facebook friends, so if you’re reading this:
- I’m sorry I lied for an entire term (year?)
- The ‘sudden’ appearance of straight stitches probably make sense now
- Mum is a professional seamstress – she’s STILL appalled at my lack of talent and initiative.
Many of my friends have had baby blessing ceremonies to honour their rite of passage from maiden to motherhood. So as we move through all the rituals, inevitably there’s a part where all fellow sisters gather together to make flower crowns.
And all I want to do is punch someone in the face.
In fact, it’s at that very junction that I busy myself by either playing with the kids at the party as I ‘pretend’ to babysit them, or I volunteer to wash dishes.
Man, I’d even scrub the shit out of pots and pans if it meant I didn’t have to thread and weave garlands of flowers on stems.
And before you accuse me of being out of touch with my inner child, let me tell you that there’s a park in between my home and my local yoga studio.
That playground may as well have my name on it because I navigate that swing set like a boss, irrespective of whether kids are lining up for their turn.
So on the very last day of my training last week, we were encouraged to make our crowns and the universe conspired to help me as I expertly ‘stole’ the demonstration stem from my facilitator.
The Universe also had the good sense to seat me next to an artist and qualified shiatsu therapist with a heart of gold.
She took pity on my sad looking excuse for a flower arrangement and offered her help. No sister. I don’t want you to help – I NEED YOU TO DO IT FOR ME.
And bless her heart. She did.
While another beautiful soul drove me to my air bnb rental so I could pick up the homework assignment I’d forgotten, I relished the feeling of the winter sun on my face as I braced myself to go back to the cold studio.
And then – boom. We had our graduation, adorned with flower crowns and all.
I didn’t cringe like I normally do when I see an ethereal looking Instagram model garlanded with a flower crown on her head as she gazes wistfully into the unseen distance, bad posture and all.
In fact, I have looked upon our course’s graduation pictures many times and I’ve grinned from ear to ear each time I’ve noticed the flowers on my head that I’d inadvertently compressed as I’d clumsily tried to navigate yet another selfie.
In many shots, I have portrayed something of a cross between a stink eye and a squint as I think a tiny piece of baby’s breath may well have merged itself permanently somewhere deep in my cornea.
Blinking hasn’t quite been the same on my right side.
But I share this story in the spirit of shyly acknowledging how dismissive I can sometimes be to new experiences, and how pleasantly surprised I am when I can feel true joy about something I had been previously closed off to.
George Bernard Shaw once said: “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
I recently read an article that outlined this thought: Intuitively, we know that the process of change is not really ours to control, so that even the big life changes we initiate often require a magnitude of surrender that we cannot anticipate.
In part this is because our neurological wiring is geared toward consistency. Our brains want and need stability so much that we often create it erroneously.
As a therapist, I’ve noticed that the most powerful preparation for change begins with our mind. Often accompanied by some sort of decision about how our behaviour needs to change in order to align with a goal.
Many successful people can be described as continuous learners, who are not only actively looking for new information but even more willing to challenge their previous belief systems.
True happiness and abundance comes from a mind that stays open through compassion, curiosity and a willingness to let go. If we are not able to change our minds, we lose in so many ways. Our stories then have the potential to become grudges that can sometimes keep us separate from those we love.
And with that, I release you from my inbox custody. If you see any warm Spring weather hanging around, tell it I’m looking for it, especially for my Spring Equinox Liver Cleanse & Sound Healing Workshop.